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Name: Jennifer
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 11/25/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: AFI, Nirvana, My Chemical Romance, The Killers, Senses Fail, The Used, Franz Ferdinand, Linkin Park, Bright Eyes, Green Day, Anti-Flag, Rise Against, Anberlin, Sugarcult,The Postal Service, The Cure, Jimmy Eat World, Blink 182, Story of the Year, Coldplay, Snow Patrol, Good Charlotte, Matchbook Romance, Jay-Z, Ludacris, Eminem, Boys II Men, TLC, Prince, Outkast, Faith Hill, Keith Urban, Martina McBride, Brad Paisley, Elvis Presley, Beach Boys, *NSync, Maroon 5, John Mayer, Jason Mraz, Marilyn Manson, Yellowcard, Goo Goo Dolls, The Beegees, Hawthorne Heights, etc.
Expertise: Angelina Jolie, Pop Culture, Film, Music, Writing, Tom Hanks, Tabloid Magazines, Orlando Bloom, Joaquin Phoenix, Nicole Kidman, Unrequited Love, Broken Promises, Pain, Tim Burton, Baz Luhrman, Justin Timberlake, Kurt Cobain, Anti-Depressants, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Garden State, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Romeo and Juliet, Forrest Gump, Requiem for a Dream, Amores Perros, Y Tu Mama Tambien, Moulin Rouge, Life is Beautiful, Beauty and the Beast, Seven, Life As a House, Pirates of the Carribean, Bend it Like Beckham, 21 Grams, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Sleepers, Edward Scissorhands, Love Actually, Dirty Pretty Things, The Breakfest Club, Say Anything, High Fidelity, Thirteen, Trainspotting, Queer As Folk, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, The Simpsons, Real World, Battle of the Seasons, Law and Order: SVU, Conan, American Idol, America's Most Wanted, True Life, Best Week Ever, Friends, Malcom in the Middle, 30 Minute Meals, Iron Chef, Boy Meets Grill, Friends, Wil
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
7/3/2002
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| I don't think I'm worthy of a way out of this.
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| As cheesy as it sounds, I should remember things like this more often. Thank God for Buffy. And Oprah.
"Strong is fighting. It's hard and it's painful and it's every day but it's what we have to do." | | |
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I've had lots of trouble sleeping lately, and when I finally do get some, I feel like I'm using it as a form of escapism.
I feel like a complete mess as of late, so if it seems like I'm keeping my distance or ignoring you, please don't take it to heart. I just don't know where my head is right now.
It's as if I'm watching as everything I care about diminishes, and starts to rot, and soon I know there won't be anything left but dust. And even then, I don't have the energy nor the desire to get up and try to prevent it.
I feel like lately, I've just been walking around with my heart in broken pieces.
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| BAHAHAHA.
I just love how you never fucking learn.
I hope they see through you, and force you to look at yourself.
Because we all know you'd never do it on your own. | | |
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I've been having weird dreams. I don't know if I could call them nightmares yet, but they've been occuring for the past two weeks. I keep dreaming of people that I love, dying. I had a dream Bob died [LOLZ] and I couldn't stop sobbing, and it was in the rain and there was press, and I just couldn't stop. The last one I remember having, had my Mom dying. We were both being shot at, and she got the most of it. We were covered in blood, and I was carrying her and trying to run. She died in my arms. I haven't had a dream like that since I was in second grade [in that one she was runover by a crazy man, and then shot just to make sure]. I keep itching to try and talk about it with my Mom, but she'd just blame it on the horror movies I watch, and the Stephen King books I've been reading. Which really, I do think may have something to do with it.In the mist of all of this, I also found more comfort in reading some of Eli Roth's [director of Cabin Fever, and Hostel 1&2, whom I have a HUGE crush on] old myspace blogs. In fact, I want to print out some of them and show them to my Mom because they inspired me so much that I wanted to cry. This, in a nutshell, is how I feel about the future. I'm not naive. I know the struggle, and I know that there's a safe route that I just don't want to take. It's not what I want my life to be about. I'm willing to be in it for the long haul, and for the long fucking run, no matter how long it'll be: "If you really want to direct, you have to be willing to do anything, and not everyone is willing to do that. You have to give up your personal life and the prospect of earning a lot of money by taking a shit job just to be on set. I remember when I was 25 I was with my brother Gabe in a walk up in Manhattan, and our apartment was infested with rats because of the construction next door. I looked at him and said "my friends are married. They have jobs, kids, health insurance, pension funds. And I'm cleaning up rat shit in a walk up on 25th street." And you know what? I was happy, because I was doing what I loved, or at least working to get there. And Gabe said "Yeah, but you won't be cleaning rat shit forever. And when you get there, you'll be happier than all of them, because none of them were willing to take the risks that you were and do the work that you were."
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